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Synonymous

by Ito Clash

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1.
You're so fucking cool And I bet you knew Every girl that's at this party tried to get with you You'll just get higher You goddamn liar Yeah go for broke I want to watch you choke It's better sleeping with a demon than to sell your own soul Worship the devil You're so fucking metal The hardest of the hardcore Tell me what you bleed for You're always gonna want more When you've got the whole store Playing with your black book Never was a good look Stare the devil in his eyes Yeah did you know they're mine You want to think you're bad But you're just like your dad Another fucking loser trying to deny he's sad Come on take your hit I know you're thinking it Or are you just too scared You'd rather be a little bitch The devil didn't make you And he wont fucking save you You're just a fucking schizo With a goofy fucking hairdo I know my skeletons I'm shaking hands with them Hey shit-eater sister-beater Where's your confidence Tell me all your stupid plans And all the things you want from them And I'll strip them from your life Yeah, I'm just that kind of guy And I just want you to be scared Cuz you assumed I wouldn't care And that fuck ups on you Now I've got something to prove The hardest of the hardcore Tell me what you bleed for You're always gonna want more When you've got the whole store Playing with your black book Never was a good look Stare the devil in his eyes Yeah did you know they're mine
2.
Fine 03:48
You should try to be anything to anyone but me You got high on my supply And then burned out when you hit the ground We all tried it then denied it Let's find out what you're all about Always blackout when you back out What's the line? Tell us you're fine Constant traction, lack of action You'll unwind when you're out of time You should try to be anything to anyone but me Hide in your head While you wait for the end And you hope for the best But you know what you'll get It gets harder to fight When you turn off the light It takes falling apart Just to get through the night And I'll admit it stings If you think that's what you need If it's all the same to you I'll just give up everything You can blame it on the comedown When you say that you won't stick around If you don't want to be a let down Then you should probably try to help us out There's a chance that you won't be found And if you were then would they let you out It feels more natural with a dead sound But there's no way that you could hear it now Hide in your head While you wait for the end And you hope for the best But you know what you'll get It gets harder to fight When you turn off the light It takes falling apart Just to get through the night And I'll admit it stings If you think that's what you need If it's all the same to you I'll just give up everything When the world gets quiet I just want a riot It only gets more painful When I try to hide it Constant state of crisis I'll attempt to fight it But I just ate the fuse Now I'll try to light it Can't take it back now when you got what you asked for And bleeding it out made a mess of the dance floor And I don't want to be known And I don't want to be your home I've been over it lately But I kind of hope that you still hate me On account of how it won't phase me When you make it known how much you're faking In front of everyone
3.
Looks good Feels real good Telling everyone they never understood There's a deep hole Where your heart was You taste the champagne I only taste blood How'd you know we all know about it Take your pick and move on without it Lift your head and try to hold tears back Give me more and I'll cut you more slack Every time I try to feel I feel like I'm nothing In your eyes I'd pull the plug to make you feel something And it only hurts in good ways now As you cut me from the inside out If I think I find a faster way down I'll tell the gemini to take a bow I wanted to want it But it's not my kind of thing You could tell I started squirming when you said it's gonna sting And I've been hallowing the hollow Dressing death up as a king I'm always making out with martyrs just to see what luck it brings And if I loved you Then I would love to Follow every fucking order like I always do Cuz it's so like you Expecting me to Keep indulging in a hemorrhage of this magnitude Every time I try to feel I feel like I'm nothing In your eyes I'd pull the plug to make you feel something And it only hurts in good ways now As you cut me from the inside out If I think I find a faster way down I'll tell the gemini to take a bow I leave my fate in strangers' hands If they're really watching Then they'll understand Scrub my brain then scrub again Thinking how many times can I face my end Talk about a great gig Living for the right dig Willing to get real sick Even just to taste it Violently collapsing Subtly relapsing Opening a deep wound Just so we can make it I'm saying… Duplicate the sharpest pain And save that shit inside your brain With vomit like a hurricane Your mouth won't ever feel the same Every time I try to feel I feel like I'm nothing In your eyes I'd pull the plug to make you feel something And it only hurts in good ways now As you cut me from the inside out If I think I find a faster way down I'll tell the gemini to take a bow
4.
Influenced 02:32
Empty can In my hand I don't know If I can stand It's too late To save face I'm blacking out I need a break Can you hold me up please Cuz my legs are so weak If you wanna help me Tell me why I'm shaking Another fucking morning Where I beat the sun at coming up The problem with my drinking is I always drink away my fucks I'm always popping bottles When I see you walk into the club Cuz I don't have the patience for your bullshit When I'm sobered up Let's play 20 questions Every question is the fucking same I don't want to know you But I feel like I should know your name Don't think it's disrespectful You're just easily forgettable Like when you start to talk I feel like I just ate an edible Empty can In my hand I don't know If I can stand It's too late To save face I'm blacking out I need a break Can you hold me up please Cuz my legs are so weak If you wanna help me Tell me why I'm shaking Fire sale cuz you're broke full time Need a rep so you flip some dimes Lose your ass cuz a bitch can't count Now you're broke, fucked, stupid And you still can't rhyme Hit a blunt that you're scared to light Flex it up you've been posing all night Snap a shot for your Instagram So all 5 fans think you're doing alright Empty can In my hand I don't know If I can stand It's too late To save face I'm blacking out I need a break Can you hold me up please Cuz my legs are so weak If you wanna help me Tell me why I'm shaking I think I'm gonna quit today And everyone will have to say That I am really awesome And they're really sad I've gone away And then tomorrow I'll come back And everyone will give me slack About me making lazy crap And I'll feel like I'm back on track No one has to know that I'm a motherfucking narcissist And if somebody calls me out Then I'll bitch to my therapist Cuz I'm not very talented And words are kind of hard for me I'm a "rapper" who can't write a diss So I live on apologies Empty can In my hand I don't know If I can stand It's too late To save face I'm blacking out I need a break Can you hold me up please Cuz my legs are so weak If you wanna help me Tell me why I'm shaking
5.
O.F.G.F. 05:23
You don't have to lie to me You don't have to tell me that you love me When you're cumming You don't have to say you're over him I can see you there above me We're both just running from something I can feel you pulsing Silently convulsing Wishing I was someone else The one who was your everything Know that you'll regret this But goddamn you're so lonely It probably makes it hurt less That you don't even know me Let me be your alibi I want to be the reason why Someone can't get sleep at night I promise I'll be gone If I think I start to hurt the vibe You don't have to talk to me I'll let it go if you need to sleep Cuz you got secrets that you need to keep But I just keep rethinking everything it ever meant to me Our two bodies overlap Your hand's running down my back I can feel you're feeling it And I know you don't give a shit Tell me all the awful things That you really think of me I don't mind the hateful stuff It's okay babe I like it rough Every time I'm on the edge This awful thought pops in my head That even when I'm fucking you I know that my life is a wreck Let me say this so we're clear That love's the hardest thing in here And I just want the company Cuz we're both humping out of fear Let me be your alibi I want to be the reason why Someone can't get sleep at night I promise I'll be gone If I think I start to hurt the vibe You don't have to talk to me I'll let it go if you need to sleep Cuz you got secrets that you need to keep But I just keep rethinking everything it ever meant to me If you won't kiss me I'll be leaving Cuz you wont miss me or the feeling Let me be your alibi I want to be the reason why Someone can't get sleep at night I promise I'll be gone If I think I start to hurt the vibe You don't have to talk to me I'll let it go if you need to sleep Cuz you got secrets that you need to keep But I just keep rethinking everything it ever meant to me Touch me uncomfortably so I believe it And I know he's got to be the only reason you'll ever feel it And I know he's got to be the only reason you'll ever feel it
6.
Copious amounts of narcotics Seemed to be advanced when we caught it Living life somewhere you can't find me Looking into why they don't like me Help me out I'm feeling things And I don't want to make a scene But this room is full of mannequins And I think they get inside my dreams I feel every bruise that I have on my face And I haven't touched my bed in eighty-six days And I get a lot of texts hoping that I'm okay But they've all stopped asking if they'll see me today And I know you know it's getting worse So thanks for calling off the search Cause you wouldn't find me anyway While I'm busy playing in the dirt And I cannot remember what it's like To fall asleep and stay asleep at night I'm reminded every time I watch the sunrise It's a new day but it's always still the same night And I know I could do better with my mental health But I'll never quite get better with no sense of self Cause I been feeling like I'm living someone else's life And the life that I've been living doesn't feel alright I feel every bruise that I have on my face And I haven't touched my bed in eighty-six days And I get a lot of texts hoping that I'm okay But they've all stopped asking if they'll see me today And I know you know it's getting worse So thanks for calling off the search Cause you wouldn't find me anyway While I'm busy playing in the dirt They're always busy asking What the pain feels like And I'm always replying Like choking through the night Cause I don't want to let you down Cause I don't want to let you down I'm keeping my shit out of sight Avoiding the light Tell me I never do anything right I'm checking the time Give them the nines It's never too early to leave for the night I'm just too willing to die And I'm so ready to lie If you decide That it's alright Then I'll always be the one who keeps hurting your pride Is hanging around Getting you down Alienating the friends that you found Missing your shot Staying to rot Forgetting everything that you were taught You know that everyone lies I know that everyone dies Beg me to keep this shit light I'm focused on making it right So I can close my eyes at night I feel every bruise that I have on my face And I haven't touched my bed in eighty-six days And I get a lot of texts hoping that I'm okay But they've all stopped asking if they'll see me today And I know you know it's getting worse So thanks for calling off the search Cause you wouldn't find me anyway While I'm busy playing in the dirt
7.
Snuff Film 02:17
I'm fucking broken up into a million little shards And they can cut a mother fucker If that fucker thinks they're hard And I don't want to hit the lean That purple shit's too chill for me I'd rather do some P.C.P. and hope you One-Eight-Seven me Cuz I'm still burying the lead I'm talking blood You're talking peace Hey butter fingers drop the tea I'll give you all the clout you need You got the ro You got it cheap Your grind is capped You need to sleep You want a word I'll give you three Go fuck yourself Don't fuck with Me. You're fucking with a dead man You're fucking with a dead man You're fucking with a dead man Loosest lips on the whole damn scene Got a nice little crew in a crack-head's dream Got the white Enzo and it looks so clean While you cruise the strip hoping to get seen You think you're running the game I know you're fucking insane It's hard to keep your shit together When you're breathing cocaine You want a spot on the throne? I guess they'll throw you a bone And you'll take a hand out Instead of fail on your own You're fucking with a dead man You're fucking with a dead man You're fucking with a dead man Eat it, Eat it, Eat it, Eat it Why don't you fucking eat it? Why don't you fucking eat it? Why don't you fucking eat it? Why don't you fucking eat it? You're fucking with a dead man You're fucking with a dead man You're fucking with a dead man You're fucking with a dead man You're fucking with a dead man You're fucking with a dead man
8.
Tryhard 03:36
Take a little time they said To fix what's messed up in your head I feel okay, time to come back I don't know what you're staring at When everyone I used to know Just vanished in a cloud of smoke I feel okay, I'm fine alone I'll hit the stage and feel at home Goddamn This shit is my fucking jam And I don't think you understand That I just showed them all your hand Man you sound smart You're gonna go far Hey, Mr. Tryhard Could you do it if you dropped your guard So you want to go toe-to-toe Then at least give them a show Cuz the people are pleading For one more beating With every punch I throw Is your head spinning still Just swallow that tough pill Cuz while you're weighing options out There's someone else who will Do you feel the need to be A person who is hard to reach Or is it all because of me Cuz I feel like I'm pulling teeth My responsibility Is tarnishing the equity That you instilled in spite of me To feel superiority Reading off the side-effects now I don't see how you're gonna get out Goddamn This shit is my fucking jam And I don't think you understand That I just showed them all your hand Man you sound smart You're gonna go far Hey, Mr. Tryhard Could you do it if you dropped your guard You're so cool You're the master You won life you fucking bastard And you do it without trying But it's easy when you're lying You're so cool You're the master You won life you lying bastard And you did it without trying Can you say that without crying Burn Goddamn This shit is my fucking jam And I don't think you understand That I just showed them all your hand Man you sound smart You're gonna go far Hey, Mr. Tryhard Could you do it if you dropped your guard
9.
You had a blood stain On your right sleeve And when i told you You attacked me And I'm not saying I'm not to blame I'm just saying that it's a shame Every time I think I get it right I lose more and more sleep every night I can take it but I'd rather not I feel less alive When I think of you And I pretend you died When you walked out the room And I'm not gonna lie And tell you everything's improved Cuz i would rather die Than let you try to kill me too It's alright It's alright To tell me you don't think about me It's alright It's alright To tell me you don't feel a fucking thing Leaning on your empathy Became too much a part of me And I was busy holding out For someone that I'd never be So I stayed way too close to you Because there's nothing I could do I wanted to be better But I'm only better without you And I would let you choke me out Just to prove the fucking point That you could live without me But oh goddamn How hollow you've become Every time you start to speak You just remember that you're numb. I feel less alive When I think of you And I pretend you died When you walked out the room And I'm not gonna lie And tell you everything's improved Cuz i would rather die Than let you try to kill me too It's alright It's alright To tell me you don't think about me It's alright It's alright To tell me you don't feel a fucking thing It's alright It's alright To not remember me It's alright It's alright Take everything you need It's alright It's alright I swear to god It's alright You made me never want to love again So I can hold on to this til the bitter end
10.
Moving Day 04:32
I'll let you decide If I seem alright I'm just busy finding out That we both hate our lives I guess I'll let it die For four years I've been high And I've been sleeping on the couch Cuz I'm just too fucked up to lie Half-Assed Whole-Heartedly I keep making decisions That I know will take a toll on me And that's why I'm gun-shy You want to hear my story But I'd rather just keep telling lies like Oh, I'll tell the one where that place felt like home And I'll tell the one where you weren't on your own Cuz I'll always try to fabricate the truth Instead of seeing what I put you through Give me a day To pack up and vacate To get my clothes And clear your space While you tell yourself That you're out of my way Just stay upstairs And hide your face I understand It must be hard To change your mind And raise your guard But you're getting what you wanted So stop acting like it broke your heart People change It's been a few years I cut my hair And shaved my beard Cuz I thought you wanted me to grow up And now I see that you weren't clear But not talking about it Won't make you look like a grownup Now that I look back on it You were running from shitting the bed like a fucking child Half-Assed Whole-Heartedly I keep making decisions That I know will take a toll on me And that's why I'm gun-shy You want to hear my story But I'd rather just keep telling lies like Oh, I'll tell the one where that place felt like home And I'll tell the one where you weren't all alone Cuz I'll always try to fabricate the truth Instead of seeing what I put you through I'm moving Half-Assed Whole-Heartedly I keep making decisions That I know will take a toll on me And that's why I'm gun-shy You want to hear my story But I'd rather just keep telling lies like Oh, I'll tell the one where that place felt like home And I'll tell the one where you weren't on your own Cuz I'll always try to fabricate the truth Instead of seeing what I put you through
11.
Enough. 08:36
We were unhappy I was Unhappy I was insecure Angry At everything everyone Myself Her I felt like the world owed me more I felt like I owed myself more I hated who I thought I was And I directed that hate everyone around me I was hard to live with Probably still am to be honest But bad things happen Sometimes for no reason And sometimes as a result of our own actions I know what I caused And I think I got what I deserved I was angry about it for a long time I felt abandoned I never once thought about why people would leave in the first place I just felt victimized I held on to it Became more toxic Made everything worse for everyone around me So they left In reality I wasn't taking care of myself I think it just got hard to watch So when I started hurting people other than myself That was it I started drinking way too much Made an ass out of myself regularly Over and over again I'd wake up immediately filled with regret From what I said or did the night before And as I was doing this I was ignoring very real problems I was facing I couldn't get to sleep sober or in my bed I said it was because it smelled like her But it really just reminded me too much of my fuck ups I thought about that a lot Still do I had trouble living with myself It was hard to sleep alone So I started involving others in this cycle I used strangers to feel better I never did… You know Feel better And it only caused more damage to everyone involved I would see that Hate myself more for it And repeat the cycle And then I was alone The one thing I was terrified of So when it's just you It's hard to hide It's hard to lie to yourself There's no one around to blame There's no one around to hate Just you I knew there was a lot that needed to change I just never wanted to admit it So I try to run from it one more time And before I confronted it Something pretty amazing happened I started experiencing the world alone And while trying to find where I'm supposed to end up I started liking what I found I met hundreds of people Amazing, beautiful people And they all had seen so much more Than I could have imagined I learned a lot I learned that I wasn't alone in feeling this I learned that we all feel these things And I think we all kind of hate ourselves But none of us deserve to feel that When we tell eachother what what makes us so bad The other person never sees it That unforgivable nature we all think we harbour Most people see the good with the bad And it's up to us to decide what they see more of And that's where I ended up I realized that it was time to believe in something I realized that I can stop this any time I want I chose to let people down I chose to alienate anyone who actually cared and I don't want to do that anymore I want to feel loved but I'm going to have to prove that I'm worth loving So, I want to be a friend I want to matter I want to be Someone who can be counted on I want to be what they all saw in me Because it's a choice Giving up is a choice Running is a choice Lying is a choice And we have to make these choices everyday It takes commitment It'll never be easy And it may never feel right But it's something I have to do The pain doesn't ever go away Trauma just kind of slides further and further to the back of your mind One day it won't hurt so much I choose to believe that Whatever happens will happen The people who I blamed were only catalysts They were a totem for me to project all of my bullshit on I'll still probably hate them for a very long time But one of them gave me the best drunken advice I've ever received

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released July 1, 2022

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Ito Clash Atlanta, Georgia

I am Ito. This is music I make.

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