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Lovely Atrophy

from Synonymous by Ito Clash

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lyrics

Copious amounts of narcotics
Seemed to be advanced when we caught it
Living life somewhere you can't find me
Looking into why they don't like me
Help me out
I'm feeling things
And I don't want to make a scene
But this room is full of mannequins
And I think they get inside my dreams

I feel every bruise that I have on my face
And I haven't touched my bed in eighty-six days
And I get a lot of texts hoping that I'm okay
But they've all stopped asking if they'll see me today
And I know you know it's getting worse
So thanks for calling off the search
Cause you wouldn't find me anyway
While I'm busy playing in the dirt

And I cannot remember what it's like
To fall asleep and stay asleep at night
I'm reminded every time I watch the sunrise
It's a new day but it's always still the same night

And I know I could do better with my mental health
But I'll never quite get better with no sense of self
Cause I been feeling like I'm living someone else's life
And the life that I've been living doesn't feel alright

I feel every bruise that I have on my face
And I haven't touched my bed in eighty-six days
And I get a lot of texts hoping that I'm okay
But they've all stopped asking if they'll see me today
And I know you know it's getting worse
So thanks for calling off the search
Cause you wouldn't find me anyway
While I'm busy playing in the dirt

They're always busy asking
What the pain feels like
And I'm always replying
Like choking through the night
Cause I don't want to let you down
Cause I don't want to let you down

I'm keeping my shit out of sight
Avoiding the light
Tell me I never do anything right
I'm checking the time
Give them the nines
It's never too early to leave for the night
I'm just too willing to die
And I'm so ready to lie
If you decide
That it's alright
Then I'll always be the one who keeps hurting your pride

Is hanging around
Getting you down
Alienating the friends that you found
Missing your shot
Staying to rot
Forgetting everything that you were taught

You know that everyone lies
I know that everyone dies
Beg me to keep this shit light
I'm focused on making it right
So I can close my eyes at night

I feel every bruise that I have on my face
And I haven't touched my bed in eighty-six days
And I get a lot of texts hoping that I'm okay
But they've all stopped asking if they'll see me today
And I know you know it's getting worse
So thanks for calling off the search
Cause you wouldn't find me anyway
While I'm busy playing in the dirt

credits

from Synonymous, released July 1, 2022

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Ito Clash Atlanta, Georgia

I am Ito. This is music I make.

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